bogleech:

snackcakesmcgee:

bogleech:

screensavorstudios:

bogleech:

Why is it that kinda creepy dudes almost universally seem to prefer the word “females” over saying “women?” Are they trying to sound academic or something? It’s like they’re talking about an animal species. “Let me describe my observations of THE FEMALES”

That’s because if you refer to a female as a “woman” you have to deal with the “Are you saying I look old” problem, and if you refer to her as a “girl” then you have to deal with “Are you saying I look like a child” problem.

The workings of the female mind us such a mystery that referring to them as seperate species is both the safest and most honest way to address them.

…..what

I can confirm this, actually. I had an absolutely terrifying encounter with a female the other day.

I was out walking my dog, and I guess I must have wandered into her territory, because I heard her hissing at me and when I looked up I saw her defensive spines and eyespots were exposed in what was pretty clearly a threat display. I tried backing away slowly like you’re supposed to, but of course the dog aggravated her and she lunged, so I grabbed the leash and just started running. Apparently a couple of other people have run into her before, and one guy actually got mauled (which I think is bullshit, because there’s clearly posted safety guidelines so the dumbass probably kept chasing after her trying to get a picture or something,) and she ended up having to be put down because her territory was so close to a human community.

Remember, keep your garbage tightly sealed and don’t feed wild Females, because they pose a danger to both themselves and humans once they start associating us with food.

I dunno, I heard once they captured it, it turned out to be nothing but a common ghost owl with that had lost some feathers. It’s an understandable confusion, but evidence suggests that females are actually much larger than most owls, about 10-14 feet tall on average, and while they can’t fly, they can swell with air and drift on the wind until they find a more suitable hunting ground.

Other things that can be easily mistaken for females include:

• Weather balloons
• Sun spots
• Swamp gas
• Wild dogs with mange
• The brocken spectre phenomenon
• Swarming locusts
• The moon
• Camera glitches
• Foxfire
• Heavily decomposed basking sharks
• Mothman
• Low-flying jets
• Jellyfish blooms
• The Bermuda triangle
• Plastic bags
• Heavily decomposed mothmen with mange
• Anime

…I have never heard anyone respond like that to being called a “woman.”