I demand fic of Bruce Wayne sitting uncomfortably at Martha Kent’s dining room table as she pours him a glass of lemonade and asks him about himself.
“Oh, uh. Well. I’m uh. Batman,” he says.
And Martha’s like, “Yes, dear, you’ve told me, I meant do you have any hobbies or interests?”
And Bruce is just sweating and trying not to mention his dead mother.
#martha: maybe u collect things?#bruce: orphans#martha: ??????#bruce: adopt. i mean ive adopted 6 children (via @assajj)
as soon as she asks him to tell her abt the children tho he flies into like essay-length rants abt how amazing his kids are and how much he loves them
bruce: (pulling pictures from his wallet) this is dick he’s my oldest, he was me for a while when i died, he did a very good job. this one’s the whole family, there’s dick again, that’s tim, jay, damian, and cassandra, don’t they all look so well behaved and handsome? it took three hours to get this taken because they all kept trying to kill each other. oh, look, this is one of tim punching through cinder blocks i was so proud that day….
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