“The nature of this mission is such that we need to keep a low profile, so: land vehicles only, fast enough for emergencies but plausible for interstate travel.” Batman set the tablet down. “Any questions.”
Flash threw up both his arms. “Road trip!”
“That’s not a question.”
“I’m out,” Aquaman said, sliding on a pair of sunglasses. He had his chair tilted back so he could cross his boots on the table.
“I’m shocked,” said Batman, who was not shocked.
“Aquaman!” Wonder Woman protested. “Don’t you want to ride with me? It will be fun! I’m told there are giant balls of twine in the desert.”
“This is a mission,” Batman reminded her. “There are no balls of twine between here and the base.”
“We can take a detour after we’re done,” she suggested, not to be dissuaded.
“Obviously I love giant balls as much as the next man,” Aquaman said, leading Batman to slowly shake his head. “However: this whole trip is landlocked. And I have business in the ocean to take care of.”
Wonder Woman narrowed her eyes. “Is this business a redhead?” Rather than deny it, Aquaman grinned, rows of gleaming white shark’s teeth sharp as daggers.
“And is it related to giant balls?” Flash added.
“Or blue ones?” Green Lantern continued further.
Wonder Woman looked between them. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
“Travel arrangements,” Batman announced, picking his tablet back up. “For logistical reasons we’ll be traveling mostly in pairs, I’ve chosen groups strategically, don’t try to argue, I know where you live.”
“I’m not clear on who that last part was addressed to,” said Green Arrow.
“All of you. Arrow, you’re with Flash.”
The Flash pumped his fists. “Yesss — I drive!”
“Absolutely not,” Green Arrow said immediately.
“Martian, you’re with Firestorm.”
“Shotgun,” Firestorm said immediately.
Martian Manhunter looked at him. “You both get shotgun,” he reminded him.
Firestorm scratched his chin. “Right.”
“Hawks, you’re not coming on this one because we all remember Utah.”
Hawkman buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. Hawkgirl had her fists on her hips, and was laughing, her tongue curled down to her chin.
The tongue was how they knew the laugh was genuine.
“Superman, you’re with Green Lantern.”
Green Lantern and Superman’s eyebrows both shot up. “Really?” they both asked, before exchanging glances.
“Yes.”
Wonder Woman’s eyes widened. “Does that mean—”
“Yes.”
“—I’m with you?”
“Yes.”
Batman was expressionless, a fact which meant less than nothing. Wonder Woman was delighted. Aquaman frowned. “Wait, where was I in the seating arrangement?”
“You weren’t.”
Aquaman took his feet off the table to sit upright, leaning forward with his brow furrowed. “Why not?”
“You weren’t going to come on this mission.”
“You didn’t know that for sure.”
“I did.”
Aquaman slammed his palm onto the table. “I’ve changed my mind!” he announced. “I will join you for this mission.”
“Fine,” Batman said, not missing a beat. “You can join Green Arrow and The Flash.”
They all looked to where the two men were hunched over Flash’s phone, trying to figure out playlists. “I’m not spending five hours listening to electropop,” Arrow was saying. “I get enough of that at home.”
“And thank God, if it were up to you it’d be nothing but butt rock.”
“That’s not a genre.”
“My car is a no Nickelback zone.”
“You don’t even have a car, you run everywhere.”
“Legally, everything in a three foot radius of me is a car.”
“That’s not a law.”
“It should be.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Aquaman announced as he stood. “Atlantis needs me.”
AUX
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