fialleril:

Following this post (months later because this got buried in my drafts lol), here’s some other things that are going to take DAV Anakin a lot of getting used to in the post-Empire galaxy:

  • The concept of regular time off. Not leave time, or the kind of spy “vacations” he and Kadee used to joke about, but just…leaving work at work and relaxing because…well, because he can. Not to recharge for the next mission, or to search for the will of the Force, or even for medical procedures. (“That’s what sick leave is for,” Leia tells him, more than once. “You have medical leave, and you have vacation time, and you have personal time. You can take time to just relax.”)
  • Having a salary. It’s not that Anakin doesn’t understand money. He used to do inventory for Watto and of course there’s a lot of accounting that goes into a war, so he’s actually quite good on that front. It’s just…never been his money before. He’s not quite sure what to do with it, after all the medical expenses and the food expenses and all the other necessities he hasn’t had to think about before are taken care of, and there’s still money left over. And it’s…a lot of money? Mainly because Leia insisted that the Republic would pay him at the same rate as its top military brass, which he still thinks is excessive, but every time he says that she glowers like she’s going to bring Palpatine back to life and then slowly murder him all over again with the strength of her eyes alone.
  • There are…a lot of choices. Choices for absolutely everything, even absurdly minor things like toothbrushes and laundry detergent. Choices are good, Anakin likes choices, sometimes they’re even exciting, but…sometimes capitalism is just exhausting.
  • Seriously, that salary thing. “They’re paying me more in one year than I’m worth at auction!” he snaps once in a frustrated thoughtless moment, and it will be years yet before he fully understands why Luke and Leia are so upset.
  • Saying no to a superior is actually an option now. If Mon Mothma asks if he’s available to cover a mission, and he says no, she’ll find someone else. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) she still has to place a strong emphasis on “if you’re available,” and sometimes she even has to remind him that he can say no. But she does remind him.
  • It’s not that he ever misses the damn mask, but sometimes he does kind of…forget that people can see his face now. That when he rolls his eyes during one of Admiral Brennan’s endless monologues, that’s not invisible anymore. (In fact, it takes him longer than it probably should to remember this consistently, and in the meantime Anakin’s array of snarky expressions during meetings become infamous among the rank and file of the Republic military and even many of the political staff. Simply put, there are memes. Intern Jan passes on the day’s schedule to Intern Marvash, who responds with a gif of Anakin miming slow death by boredom. It’s tagged #same.)
  • Sometimes, people flirt with him. This is not something Anakin’s ever actually had to deal with before – people generally respected Jedi vows under the Republic, and no one would ever have attempted to flirt with Darth Vader. Of course he did flirt with Padme, but that was always mutual and both of them were pretty earnest and direct people. It’s now been twenty years, four limbs, and full body third degree burns since Anakin even considered any of this, and the truth is, he wouldn’t consider it now, if not for Han directly pointing it out to him every time someone makes a pass at him. And, tbqh, for the longest time he thinks that Han is just trolling him. It takes Leia backing Han up to finally convince him that, okay, maybe the woman who wrote her com number on his napkin is interested. For some reason. He still can’t figure out why she would be. Leia and Luke, and even Han, look a little uncomfortable and oddly…sad?…when he says that, but they don’t really press.
  • Apparently, you need a permit for everything. This is also not something Anakin’s had to deal with before. “Jedi business” was pretty much carte blanche under the old Republic for everything from ignoring speed limits, to disregarding traffic controllers, to remaining blissfully unconcerned with trespassing ordinances. Darth Vader was accountable to his Master, often painfully so, but no one else was going to press him on the finer points of Coruscant traffic law. But now he needs a license to operate a speeder, and he has to pass a test to get that license. Anakin finds the test itself almost insulting, and Luke laughs at him for much longer than necessary. He cuts off abruptly, though, when Anakin points out that his Tatooine-raised Rebel pilot son also doesn’t have a proper Core World license.
  • Democracy. Democracy looks very different when you’re actually participating in it. Tatooine is a fully fledged member state of the Republic now, no longer a colony world. Change is still slow, though, and centuries of history don’t just disappear. But for the first time in his life, Anakin is a citizen. He and Luke cast their first ever ballots to elect Imer Moonspinner as Tatooine’s first ever senator. And, okay, maybe he helps the freedom network by calling in a few favors with a few contacts who take the necessary steps to ensure that the Hutts’ thugs won’t be able to prevent all of the newly freed people from voting, but that’s just…safeguarding democracy. He’s pretty sure that’s what Padme would call it. Leia approves, anyway, and that’s good enough for him. And when Imer wins the election and Anakin and Luke are there at her victory celebration, watching Kitster whirl her through the air as everyone around them laughs and cries at once, it feels…good. Like maybe they can actually change things. Of course, it’ll probably be only a few weeks before Imer is commiserating with Leia and Pooja about the still-all-too-corrupt Senate, but for now, the voice of the people has overpowered that of the Hutts, and that’s something to celebrate.
  • And maybe the biggest change of all: Anakin has a family, a surprisingly large family actually, and he doesn’t have to hide that from anyone anymore. There’s no law against him having a family, and no Master to threaten anyone he knows Anakin cares about. He can (and does) proudly talk to anyone about his amazing children Luke and Leia. He can reconnect with his brother Kitster and get to know Imer and their children. He can start to rebuild a relationship with the Naberries (Pooja first, probably). After a bit of rebuilding with Ahsoka, too, he can finally call her his sister and not have it feel like an immense terrible forbidden secret.
  • The first time he tells Mon Mothma he won’t be available for a mission because he already has plans with his family, she actually grins at him. It’s the largest smile he’s ever seen on her. “Good,” she says brusquely. “I’ll find someone else then. Enjoy your weekend with the family, Anakin.”

“Roll a… Constitution Check”

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: *roleplaying a quirky old farmer* You want some of my homemade cornbread??

Vaughun (Goliath bloodhunter): Yeah sure, I love cornbread! *mimes eating the snack and swallowing*

DM: Okay, I’m gonna need you to roll a constitution check.

Vaughun: What? Why? *has a sudden realization* OH MY GOD IS THIS CORNBREAD LACED? DID YOU JUST GIVE ME WEED CORNBREAD???

DM: ‘feygrass’ cornbread. And you did this to yourself.

The rest of the party: *losing their minds*

I had No Real Thoughts about Martha Wayne before your writing and didn t even know her name. Now I’m stuck awake at four am gripped by the idea of an AU where she survived the shooting (barely, with complications) and What Happens Then? and I don’t know enough Batman Canon to write this and it’s 4am and it’s TrAGedY and What Is This Even. (Bruce still Punches all the things. Even with All the Therapy.)

unpretty:

unpretty:

i’ve always thought that in a universe where both bruce’s parents lived he’d grow up well-adjusted and end up becoming an artist whose shtick is that he inherited his mother’s (fake) psychic gift and he dramatically unveils paintings that solve crimes. it is a painting of the murder, and there, in the painting, is this guy he invited to the unveiling! high drama only. also at least once selina has stolen a painting of herself stealing the painting. the painting detailed exactly how she did it. later they made out.

in the sorrowful and immaculate hearts multiverse (i guess???), either thomas or bruce always dies. it’s the rules. universes where martha lived tend not to end well for anyone involved and sometimes result in multiple innocent timelines being destroyed in the aftermath

it’s a whole thing

#the way anon felt about martha i felt about thomas#nothing has ever made him as interesting to me as kitty’s addition if him making his own charcuterie#as if i could resist a man who makes cheese#CHEEEEEESE#also GOD DAMN IT kitty#now i have to care about everyone lives-painter detective AU??!!#like pennywayne hellship wasnt enough jesus

(via @byebyeskylark)

bruce’s specialties are trompe-l’œil

paintings of murder scenes, post-impressionist-style paintings of endangered animals in urban settings (both of which always manage to be totally accurate and feel very real despite what are objectively bizarre color palettes), and art-deco stained glass that projects images onto opposing walls or floors that aren’t apparent unless the light hits it just right (the kind that could result in a dramatic revelation if you’re good at perfectly timing a conversation)

he is notoriously and authentically obnoxious and has caused eight different international incidents, only three of which were justified

frogmunist:

violaslayvis:

August 11th. I remember when a lot of people on here jumped down my throat & tried to justify the state ceasing to provide bottled water for residents because “the lead levels are safe now!!!!”

The state also doesn’t seem to have a problem selling privatizing clean water sources near Flint, selling them to Nestle & making Flint residents pay for their own water

How much is the state selling water for Flint to Nestlé for you may ask? Surely it must be a massive amount of money to put so many lives in danger! Surely this amount of money should be a significant amount to “justify” this disgusting idea that this water source is better used to commodify the basis of all life on this planet.

Oh wait no, just 200 bucks a year.

kara-danvers-lena-luthor:

awed-frog:

lord-armitage:

womanwithaknife:

fromacomrade:

me

So I actually wrote my dissertation about this and it’s not just that the Department of Defence (there’s an office in the Pentagon dedicated to liaising with Hollywood productions), but they effectively have a strangle-hold on how Hollywood portrays the US military since the DoD give permission for producers to use military hardware, without that permission the cost of filming sharply goes up and films end up extremely over-budget. So the producers can either drop any critical elements at the DoD’s discretion, or continue with a film which will barely be released at all and will never make its budget back. 

Any American film which involves the military, know that the DoD probably signed off on it, or were directly involved with. Films like American Sniper and Zero Dark Thirty had a heavy government influence, the latter to falsely justify the methods the CIA used in finding and killing Osama bin Laden, which included torture.  

It’s why the military figures are always the heros and there will never be a Hollywood film which is critical of the US military because of this. Just remember, whenever you see the US military in a Hollywood movie, it’s exactly what the Department of Defence want you to see. It’s not being hyperbolic when these types of films are called propaganda. 

Whenever you see the US military in a Hollywood movie, it’s exactly what the Department of Defence want you to see. It’s not being hyperbolic when these types of films are called propaganda.

scotchtapeofficial:

the-fault-in-our-balls:

scotchtapeofficial:

fyi “it’s just a joke” is a tired excuse. if it was a joke it’s meant to be funny, if it has a potential to hurt or alienate innocent people it’s a bad joke because it’s ruining the atmosphere.

here is a funny joke: i poison a cake with an ingredient only you are allergic to. u start crying & i say “well it’s just a cake! no need to cry about it. i just wanted everyone to eat this delicious cake but u ruined it. keep ur allergies to urself”

Literally poisoning someone is not the same as hurting someone’s feelings.

you’re right! if only there was a word for when u make comparisons between things that are not exactly the same to illustrate a point… oh well

I had No Real Thoughts about Martha Wayne before your writing and didn t even know her name. Now I’m stuck awake at four am gripped by the idea of an AU where she survived the shooting (barely, with complications) and What Happens Then? and I don’t know enough Batman Canon to write this and it’s 4am and it’s TrAGedY and What Is This Even. (Bruce still Punches all the things. Even with All the Therapy.)

unpretty:

i’ve always thought that in a universe where both bruce’s parents lived he’d grow up well-adjusted and end up becoming an artist whose shtick is that he inherited his mother’s (fake) psychic gift and he dramatically unveils paintings that solve crimes. it is a painting of the murder, and there, in the painting, is this guy he invited to the unveiling! high drama only. also at least once selina has stolen a painting of herself stealing the painting. the painting detailed exactly how she did it. later they made out.

in the sorrowful and immaculate hearts multiverse (i guess???), either thomas or bruce always dies. it’s the rules. universes where martha lived tend not to end well for anyone involved and sometimes result in multiple innocent timelines being destroyed in the aftermath

it’s a whole thing