It’s a cute little thing though.
Sometimes it is hard to remember that owls are incredibly dangerous predators seen by cultures throughout the world as ill omens. Especially when they look like toasted marshmallows.
My boss once described them as flying pillows filled with seething hatred.
Further confirming that owls are the avian equivalent of cats.
Tag: cute
We watched some episodes of sailor moon and i went to go pee, found her in my bag
She’s been in it for hours
THIS IS THE CUTEST MOTHER FUCKING THING ON THIS SITE I WANT TO CRY
Having a bad day? NOT ANYMORE.
How would a wizard deal with arachnophobia? I never have the heart to squish spiders but still have a panic-response when I see them!
The wizardly way to deal with this is to chat with spiders until they no longer frighten you. 🙂
They are not the world’s most voluble conversationalists. Mostly what they have to say is “Hungry”, “gotta make a web”, “gotta hang out in the web”, “OH WOW I CAUGHT SOMETHING YAY!”, “Sorry, can’t talk, gotta wrap up what I caught”, “Mmmmm” (at dinnertime), “gotta take the web down and conserve my resources”, and (seasonally) “HEY PRETTY LADY / PRETTY GUY, LET’S DANCE / FUCK”.
But if you can get them past that — usually by persistence: wizards who specialize in insects learn persistence pretty early on — you will also hear “Whoops, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, you looked kinda like a tree from that angle”, “Oh come on, the wind blew me into your hair, do you think I wanted to be here? You are not remotely edible”, “You wouldn’t have a caterpillar on you, would you? I missed lunch”, “How do you get by with so few legs? I am so sorry for you”, “I am so not ready for sex yet”, and “Would you turn off that damn light?”, or alternately “Thank you for leaving the porch light on last night, best meal I’ve had in ages, I asked all my mates round and everybody made out like bandits.”
…Wizards aside, I once had a conversation rather like this with a driveway full of tarantulas (they would come out and bask on cool mornings because the driveway would store the sun’s heat overnight). The brown tarantula, early in the morning before things warm up enough for them to get active, is the most docile and sociable of creatures. They sit there and look at you with all their little eyes. You look at them with your two. Peaceful coexistence, until they start quietly creeping away to hide in the bushes.
(I also had a long talk some years ago with the giant Malaysian hissing cockroach up at the Museum of Natural History in NY, but I can’t discuss that because it was mostly about sex.)
I want a sci-fi encounter where the alien species has nothing akin to “sleep”, and it’s baffling.
And I don’t mean that as in it’s a Science Officer or Medical personnel either, but like a rookie navigator or intern weapons operative who’s making their first inter-planetary trip and going to work WITH HUMANS not just via telecommunications or stuff but like IN THE FLESH and is so stoked.
They get this feeling a few weeks into their mission or what-have you that they’re missing a big piece of the puzzle like, there are a LOT of humans on this ship, but xe didn’t realize it before because “all humans look alike” but hey no that’s definitely not the same maintenance officer who was handling the proton cores six hours ago what the fuck. Xe gets time off to rest and eat and be social (which is so hard with humans because they’re pheromone detectors are so weak and nnnngh) and then goes back to work in time to see them switching??? why do you have two people do the same job what???
Why do you keep opening your mouth like that at me is this a dominance stance are you insulting me I’m so confused oh my gosh
It’s not in the fucking manual holy shit Xe is so screwed coffee and laughter and hygiene are all included what the fuck
but it’s gotta be simple and easy and not hard but how do you ask your superiors you’re the rookie gosh this is not working out.
Finally little Rookie Alien makes a human “friend”, and knows then they go off duty for food and such so knowing that human is off work Xe waits until they’re off work too and goes to their compartment number and the computer lets them in
“I apologize for disturbing you, Ensign, but I… Ensign?”
Ensign is sitting at their computer, lights blipping, there’s a half-finished maintenance report flashing on the screen and a communication device is tossed on the floor and the Rookie says their name again softly and NO RESPONSE AND
OH
MY
ANKDJNDLNAIND SOUND THE ALARM RED ALERT LOCK DOWN PROTOCOL THERE’S A MURDERER THE ENSIGN IS DEAD I REPEAT THEY- HOLY DECARBONATION VECTORS YOU’RE ALIVE IT’S A MIRACLE why are you displaying aggression markers at me there are security officers no do not shout i is small podling i make mistake…
This is what I like to do with my free time.
My two favourite animals combined!
an angel girl who’s girlfriend is a demon and at first they don’t want anybody to know but then god is like “my child do not worry about it it’s , as the kids are saying these days, “what ever”’ but satan is like “do I know this girl. let me meet her. is she a bad influence?” “dad she’s an angel” “damn I was really hoping she would be a bad influence”
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