27 dicks were drawn on the teachers car. 5 suspects. zero answers.
– kiba is the main suspect. known dick drawer, everyone at school considers him a loser and a lost cause. claims he didnt do it. alibi: was supposedly getting high w his equally weird friends, shino and hinata (the proof: a live video of him drawing his fursona), but said he was going to take a shit at priceless moments (a deco shop at the corner) at the exact time when the dicks were painted. suspicious. motive: hes stupid. additionally, he is known for getting into frequent prank wars w friend naruto. could this be a prank taken too far?
– sai: second suspect. sai is also a known dick drawer and dick talker, but his quiet demeanor in classes caused people to forget about him at first. alibi: none (but the suspect raises an interesting question: “why would i paint dicks in the parking lot when i could do them at home and keep them?”). motive: also none. is it fair to judge sai based only on his love of dicks?
– naruto is a suspect for being a known pranker and the class clown. is associated with kiba. alibi: supposedly at his best friend slash rival slash fuck buddys, sasuke. no proof besides sasukes testimony, who said: “get fucked its none of your business”. motive: once again, it might have been a prank war that went too far. the spray paint is also a known naruto signature: in 2016 he was found guilty of spray painting the schools statue of its first principal, hashirama senju. question is, is he dumb enough to repeat a similar prank after being caught the first time?
– sasuke….. sasuke has the motive. just one day before TDI (The Dicks Incident) sasuke received a B on his spanish test. all of his classmates confirm: sasuke was very nervous and argued with the teacher. is this motive enough? his best friend slash rival slash fuck buddy, naruto, lets it slip during our interview: “yeah, he was- he was pretty mad, dude. i know its a sensitive issue for him because of his brother, yknow… itachi is fluent in spanish. he can get pretty… unreasonably competitive where his brothes concerned”. and guess what: one of the spanish teachers tires was slashed.
– gaara: scary fucker. pushed a kid down the stairs in middle school and threatened like everyone of murder. could be up to anything. motive: is scary. alibi: none of the students had the courage to ask