Thor having a pet kitten that meows all the time and won’t leave him alone so he just walks around with it on his shoulder or cradled in one of his arms
oh my godddd Thor’s new kitten sleeping on Mjolnir and one day there’s a fight for the Avengers to respond to but the kitten spent all night crying and she’s finally sleeping soundly on Mjolnir so he just shows up to the fight without Mjolnir and starts punching bad guys in the face with his bare hands bc he didn’t want to wake up his tiny furbaby for something so ‘trivial’.
Why they never talk about no magic home ec class in Hogwarts.
Clearly they have spells for it.
Molly Weasley has knitting needles going, and while house elves do the cooking at Hogwarts presumably they use some magic there to keep up with the giant work load, and iirc, Molly uses magic to cook.
So, where the home ec class at. Where the muggleborns with dread in their eyes thinking it’ll be a normal like, cooking class, [Harry all excited thinking he’s gonna ace this class or at least do alright, since he cooked for the Dursley’s], and then the first half the first class is a lesson about how you’ve got to earn the respect of your measuring spoons. Otherwise they’ll argue with you on how much has to go into a recipe. Harry has a kind of tentative conversation with his and they work with him after he realized they were an older set used to students forcing them to work for them. Talks to them gently and asks if they think a little more or little less should go into a recipe, or if they think he should add an ingredient now and then because they’ve made the same thing over, and over. Harry trying to make Molly a sweater in return for the one he got because he doesn’t know what to do with having gotten gifts, and only really managing a rather lengthy and oddly tensioned scarf made from the best yarn he could find out of a catalog he found on the shelf in the classroom. The professor was just delighted he’d decided to keep at knitting and crocheting [he may have… mixed the two] after they’d finished the unit, to make a gift.
Where’s Hermione having a long drawn out conversation with the home ec professor about how it’s ridiculous to devote magic to knitting when you can do it by hand, and the professor countering about the time saved by simply using enchanted needles or a charm. The conversation takes up the entire period but a teacher actually takes Hermione seriously for once because effective division of effort/time is a very important skill to learn and it’s what they’re there to teach. Wheres Ron answering all the questions like a fucking CHAMP because managing in his family has basically made his ass a pro at everything– budgeting a vault? On it. Spelling how many cauldrons to feed how many people with how much food? On lock like it’s fucking Azkaban. Best herbs and plants to grow for general– he has already finished the worksheet/in-class essay that was on the board and is fucking around with his quill. He gets called on, his string bean ass gonna have the answer while kinda being shocked at himself that he actually does, because– like many poor ass people– we manage resources really damn well when we know what we have. And we very rarely let it get away from us.
Where’s the rich-ass purebloods that know finances and shit because they’re taking over family blood-line affairs when their older and their parents drilled that into their heads, but can’t cook/sew/anything else to save their life till they learn. Where was Oliver Wood trying to make Healthy Food Things for the quidditch team for Extra Energy and just making a mess. The Twins making a totally harmless banana pudding and selling it in their store and NO ONE KNOWING WHAT IT DOES, everyone panicking because they’re SURE they did something.
Once upon a time there was a small desert village with a single well outside town. One day a young woman went to the well to fetch water, and the well heard her crying, and asked “What’s wrong?”
She stopped her sobbing and asked the well “You can talk?”
“Yes,” said the well. “Long ago, the witch who lives in this town gave me life so I could serve as a guardian to the townspeople.”
“Alas,” said the young woman. “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the townsfolk for many years. But the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the people up against her, and they burned her at the stake. I am young and still do not know very much magic. I tried to curse them, but my curses fizzled. Now I worry I will never avenge my mother’s death.”
“Do not be afraid,” said the well. “I will take care of this.”
The next morning, when the Mayor came to fetch water from the well, he heard an odd noise coming from the bottom. He peered over as far as he could to see what was happening. Then an impossibly long arm shot up from the bottom of the well, grabbed the mayor, and pulled him into the well shaft. There was a horrible crunching sound, and nobody ever saw the Mayor again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter, and they all lived happily ever after.
Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge
so this one time, I had a great idea for pokemon fic.
It was basically about this older gruff jaded trainer who finds a little kid wandering around the route, calling for his fearow. Like little tiny babby’s first time training trainer.
So he asks the kid ‘Yo kid, you lose your starter or somethin’?”
Kid: “Yeah, it’s my fearow, he flew off after some raticate and now I can’t find him.” Older trainer’s like goddamn, who gets a kid a fearow as a starter?
“Your parents uh get you that fearow?” Cause he’s gonna have some words with this kids parents if that’s the case. Kid’s still like looking in trees and bushes and shit.
“No, caught ‘em myself out by the powerplant, saved up and bought the greatball myself and everything!” Kid’s super proud of that, meanwhile the older trainer’s thinking, weird, there’s no fearow out by the power plant, meh, maybe one flew there by accident.
Long story short, it’s not a fearow. A storm front rolls in and the kid’s like, ‘welp, there’s my fearow. Finally.’ Older trainer gets the heart attack of his life when fucking zapdos lands next to this kid out of a goddamn thundercloud and starts preening little kid’s hair.
“That’s not a fearow.” Is the only thing older trainer can say.
“What are you blind or something mister?” Says the little kid. “He’s got the spiky fearow feathers and everything. I can’t believe you call yourself a trainer. Come on Fearow, let’s go find a real trainer to battle.”
!!!!!! that is /excellent/ Yes please.
One of the ideas was to have team rocket show up and menace them, and have ‘fearow’ show up to strike thunder god fear in their hearts for scaring its trainer.
The other idea is kid gets an igglybuff as their second pokemon and everyone assumes the iggly is their only pokemon.
“Oh no, mr iggles isn’t for fighting.” Kid says. “That’s what I have fearow for!”
They are the worst best trainer ever, because zapdos would fly this kid to the moon if they asked because they are a precious little bundle of naïvety and joy. But kid only wants to beat up other trainers for candy and poffin money.
Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.
Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.
You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.
That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?
idea: selina kyle as a reverse archeologist. she steals from museums and private collections and returns things to the shrines and graves where they belong. she brings a clay jaguar to monte alban and now she can talk to cats. the whip is because she’s indiana jones. batman makes half-assed attempts to stop her but it’s not like she’s wrong so like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ he’s got violent crimes to deal with, what does he care if she’s stealing back smuggled relics from rich assholes. he met that guy at a party once and he was a huge asshole so fuck him. steal his toupee, too. it’s probably endangered. ‘oh no catwoman is escaping and there’s nothing we can do. robin sit back down. there’s nothing we can do. she’s taking that statue back to egypt and we have no possible recourse against this terrible nonviolent crime with a single dick victim. i am definitely really mad about this. i’ll fight her later, when you’re sleeping or at a friend’s house or something. you’ll understand when you’re older.’
Everyone, when they’re born, is born with a somewhat variable number of soul marks on their body.
Someone else in the world shares at least one of those soul marks.
Contrary to popular believe, this has jack diddly shit to do with soul mates. Rather, it represents an attunement that in concert with this other person (or persons) lets you do… something. It could be practically anything. Usually something small, often something kind of stupid, but well…
Being able to manifest three small frogs every 23 seconds or make organic matter briefly burn without being consumed or being able to briefly expand the size of an object roughly the size of a toonie to something the size of a shoe seem a lot less stupid when three assholes in masks walk into the bank and suddenly there’s flaming shoe sized frogs bouncing everywhere.
is this from book or something? because i’d read the shit out of it tbh
Nnnope I just decided that since I’m a polyamorous weirdo the whole soul mate signs thing was boring to me so I decided to take it in like a totally gonzo direction. And also I fucking love Cantrips. Like give me a good set of Cantrips and I will fuck a D&D campaign UP. Fuck it right up.
But yeah I would also read the shit out of someone running with this idea. Which I was going to say anyone could have under a Creative Commons license but since this isn’t an implementation OF an idea but merely the idea in abstract I’m pretty sure it’s inherently not copyrightable so yeah go nuts people
OK except that I have this image where your entire body is covered in these weird soul signs. like fucking norse runes on your elbows and hieroglyphics between your toes and maybe a loss.jpg on the backside of your knee. and then the only way to get your frog shoes to erupt out of the ether is to slap your elbow onto somebody’s left achilles. Or, maybe the fire effect happens by a combination of your elbow on their neck and someone else’s ankle on your inner wrist.
Spellcrafting ends up looking like a bizarre mix of stage-fighting, wrestling, contortion, and slapstick.
#pet hair with knee
This is fascinating because like it drastically decreases the chances of being able to tell a coherent long form story but drastically increases one’s ability to make really entertaining short comics
I just remembered that everyone in Pacific Rim would’ve seen The Force Awakens and I just
> Newt lets Hermann borrow his jacket one time because it’s cold and Hermann forgot his. Hermann goes to give it back later. Newt looks him dead in the eyes. “Keep it. It suits you.” Silence follows. Newt can’t keep a straight face. Hermann walks away with the look of a man who has suffered through fifty Star Wars references this week already, and will likely suffer through fifty more before it’s over.
> Tendo opening awkward conversations with “So, who talks first? Do you talk first? I talk first?”
> Back when he was working the Wall, Raleigh sometimes muttered “one quarter portion” when he got his ration card at the end of the day.
> “The garbage will do” becomes a running gag among the Jaeger program has they have to resort to jury-rigging shit and settling for things that better fit their increasingly diminishing budget.
> Mako has all the blueprints to make a fully functioning BB-8 replica. She just never got around to building it. She was totally going to enlist Hermann to help with the programming, too.
> Newt referring to the increasing size and power of the Kaiju as “some Starkiller Base overkill bullshit.”
> “THAT’S NOT HOW THE DRIFT WORKS.”
I still haven’t seen it and I need to jump on the pacrim/force awakens bandwagon fast.
OKAY LISTEN my favorite thing about this is that in the short time they’ve known each other Rey has grown to trust Finn enough that she is absentmindedly reaching back for him after he grabs her. On Jakku she told him to stop holding her hand and in this gifset shes motioning with her hand for him to take it o h m y g o d
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