sometimes people try to tell me that scientists are paragons of rationality and I have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn’t have at least one weird secret shrine in it
new guy: why is all of the equipment in this room covered in toys?
me: dONn’t touch those
new guy:
me: they need the toys to function. if they don’t all have toys they get jealous.
new guy:
new guy:
me: when something breaks just take the wizard and wave it around for a while. they seem to like that.
Context: Our party consists of a Teifling Sorceress, Elf Bard, a unknown figure, a Human Monk and a Aasimar Paladin. We’re currently trying to run from the law and are finding our way to a nearby city by going through the underground tunnels.
DM: So now that you’ve finished with that battle you hear hurried foot steps coming around the corner—
Paladin (Ooc): *saying loudly* I DONT CARE WHATEVER IT IS I WANT TO SEDUCE IT!!!
Dm: —*staring blankly* And it was our new party member, JoJo the Monk.
Everyone expect our Paladin: SO YOU’LL SEDUCE IT HUH????
Paladin: *currently dying on the sofa, dropping dice.*
My brain, a split second later: That Was Not An Appropriate Response. That Was In Fact Wildly Unprofessional. Do Something Formal And Respectful To Make Up For It.
Me: [hesitates]
Me: [bows]
My brain: TOO FORMAL TOO FORMAL WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?
This Is a Backup Blog 