howlnatural:

front of house, back of house and customers:

• There’s only one table left far away from the crying baby and we BOTH just noticed it AU
• I snuck a look at the screen when the hostess was busy and I didn’t have an actual reservation so I’m pretending to be you and WHOOPS you just showed up AU
• OR I reserved a table for one as part of my new ‘date yourself’ plan but the hostess said someone by my name is already here? Oh shit fake me is hot AU
• The server said there’s only one slice of cheesecake left and you ordered it and now you’re holding it hostage for my number (I was thinking of slipping it to you on a napkin anyway) AU
• We’re both pastry chefs but you work lunch shift and I work dinner and we’ve never actually met but you leave me hilarious notes inside the walk-in freezer AU
• YOU ARE AN ADULT HOW THE HELL DO YOU KEEP BURNING YOURSELF AND NEEDING THIS MUCH MEDICAL ATTENTION? STOP SWEET-TALKING ME AS I TREAT YOUR WOUNDS YOU IDIOT, I ONLY KNOW BASIC FIRST AID AU
• My favorite part of the day is when I get to show up early for my shift and catch you singing along with the radio in the kitchen as you prep but you’ve never caught me listening AU
• I’m a bartender and I just had this guy thrown out because he’s a dick. It had nothing to do with the fact he stared at your ass and made gross comments about you – I can barely stand you! AU
• You just mispronounced a menu item when you were ordering to make it sound really dirty but I’m a professional and I won’t point it ou–Wait, are you smirking? AU
• We’ve somehow developed this weird mutual relationship where I give you friendly co-worker foot-massages after double shifts but thing is I REALLY like the noises you make AU
• You’re the only person on the staff who speaks the same language as my table and I have no idea what they’re saying but one of them pointed at me and now you’re blushing and it’s really cute AU
• I know  you’re just being friendly with the customers but you mentioned once that you think that guy in your section is hot and the flirting is REALLY getting to me AU
• I saw that other table being assholes and I wish more than anything I could make it better but I’m really awkward so instead I’ll tip 100% AU
• We met through a dating app and I didn’t know you worked here but you clearly think the guy I’m eating with is my date but he’s just my best friend AU
• I claim to only come here when you’re working because you make the best  [cocktail] but really I HATE [cocktail] and I needed a reason to see you.
• You hit me in the head with a champagne cork AU
• We’re on the patio at separate tables and our dogs just fell in love AU
• I’ve been listening in to your conversation and you said something really scandalous and oh shit I’m choking, thank god you know the Heimlich AU
• My friends know I have a huge crush on you so they told you it’s my birthday so you’ll have to sing it but were you also supposed to kiss me on the cheek? AU
• You’re a server at my disastrous family wedding and you keep catching me trying to sneak off alone and hey you’re really cool AU