when i was little i got married to all my friends and there was this very intricate cerimony that i barely remember (except for the woodchip throwing at the end)
3. Make it exactly the same as the anon hate except use a homestuck troll typing quirk. It doesn’t matter which one.
4. Respond to the fake anon hate by roasting them for impersonating a homestuck troll.
5. The real anon now has a choice. The can come off anon and prove that you changed their message, or they can wallow in silence, knowing that they have failed to bother you.
oh man like jade’s final aesthetic is amazing, undeniably, but once you consider the weapon she uses it becomes. fucking hilarious
can you imagine a stacked werewolf woman coated in robes and green electricity screaming of fantasy in every visual sense coming to kill you and once she’s got you in a corner she just
This is, of course, just a suggestion. It is, in fact, even more of a suggestion than anything else on this blog is. But Homestuck began in 2009 – and the world has changed a lot since then.
Internal Memery
One of the principles Hussie attempted to hold to, at least with early- to mid-Homestuck, was to not use outside memes, because they would make the work rapidly feel dated. Instead, all memes came from other places inside the narrative – most notably, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Of course, this didn’t last forever – even Hussie eventually succumbed to including outside memes, most noticeably with the “Illuminati Confirmed” in [S] MSPA Reader: Mental Breakdown – but it’s one of those things that makes Homestuck arguably more timeless than other webcomics of the same age. It’s also one of the things I enjoy most about Homestuck’s aesthetic.
A roleplay is intrinsically more ephemeral than a webcomic, so “dated” isn’t nearly as bad (and, honestly, if feels more natural for your character to use modern memes in conversation, by all means use them), but consider using some of these memes instead:
A fifteen-bottle set of gourmet grubsauce
Taking any remotely spirograph-looking shape, such as the arrangement of the seeds in the center of a sunflower, as evidence of Sburb’s involvement (sometimes this is extended to anything involving the Fibonnaci sequence, or even the golden ratio)
Being glad that you “got out [of presession] before the clowns took over” (a Homestuck reference. Well, sort of.)
taking videos of a few particularly amusing Skaianet news conferences and PR appearances (usually plucked off presession-Youtube) and recording snarky audio commentary tracks
collecting stolen road signs in one’s roadsignkind specibus
throwing ice cubes into the Forge
the “wrist-mounted alchemiter” (alchemiter with extensive modifications attached that let it fit onto the forearm, not unlike a particularly large watch – generally seen as dorky and impractical, because if one of the cards falls out of the jumper block extension, it’ll spring back to full size, crushing anything on that side of you in the process)
reacting to a picture of anything vaguely spherical and orange with “Is that a pumpkin?”
making up troll versions of movie titles (i.e. paragraph-size plot summaries) for any given human movie, and then using them to refer to the movie in casual conversation (usually by just pasting it in from a previous post or something, although a few intrepid programmers have created browser extensions that automatically replace human movie titles with their troll equivalents)
Last night we were talking about all the other Earth-based SBURB sessions. Now, most of them were probably screwed from the start if they weren’t part of an ectobiological loop (unless there was a rash of meteor babies delivered in the 90s, which would be kind of funny) but we thought if any of the other sessions did get very far, they’d have to deal with a bunch of the same crap as the kids without any of the inside info. So this spiraled into imagining some sort of SBURB help forum with a bunch of questions and bug reports where an increasingly harried mod keeps going ‘it’s this ONE SESSION out there fucking everyone else up, I’m sorry’
‘There’s an unidentified object at the heart of my battlefield. No one mentioned this.’ ‘It seems to be corruption from our parent session #612a2. The players are still active but are only in communication with a four person session based in the US, #413b1. I’ll let you know if they ever start answering my PMs, but for now, here’s a link to a thread with people discussing fixes that worked for them.’
‘One of my timeloops should’ve been stable but now the whole timeline is flagged as doomed. Our Time player has checked everything but there’s no reason for it. HELP!!!’ There’s a rogue Time hero/boss local to the 612/413 session cluster. Most of the time he doesn’t affect us, but sometimes timeloops get snagged on his localized alpha. Destroy any of the following artifacts in your session, especially the puppet, and try again.’
‘CANCER UPDATE: The 612 data corruption manifests in an extremely aggressive archagent and a rapid onset Reckoning. Do not engage Jack Noir, and do not under any circumstances let him acquire a regent’s ring. We recommend you deploy Prospit dreamers to acquire the White King’s scepter and keep it safe to delay the Reckoning.’
‘There are red squiggly things in the sky. Is that bad??’ ‘Unfortunately session 413′s archagent got the black queen’s ring and is in the process of tearing all instances of our universe to shreds. I’d recommend you pick up the pace, because we’re now on a deadline courtesy of those fuckers.’
‘My dreamself died and usually I just have to deal with the horrorterrors but last time I fell asleep I was somewhere else, and there were a bunch of other people there. Is this a special level I unlocked?’ ‘Somehow the 612/413 cluster…broke… death??? I don’t fucking know. Avoid any gray skinned people you see – they tend to be hostile. [Blurry photo of Vriska.] DEFINITELY avoid this one.’
And eventually it just devolves into everyone complaining about those losers from 413 who keep ruining it for everyone and you get posts like ‘Apparently every planet gets one first guardian but GUESS WHO got Earth’s and PROTOTYPED it????’ and ‘There’s a cheat that lets you godmod the whole game and we’ve been looking for it for weeks but FUCKING SESSION 413′s Breath hero fell ass backwards into it on accident those fuckers’
The mod dreams of one day finding these people to scream at them in person
my head is like that scene in homestuck where terezi screams at john to fix things but instead of writing down instructions she draws some question marks and instead of following them john eats the scarf
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