Tag: important

“There is a perception that speaking up for boundaries is somehow introducing conflict into a situation, or at very least, escalating it in an unkind way, like, everything was fine until you spoke up for your needs and now you made it weird. But not speaking up is not making the situation better, it’s just giving the other person more license to operate and communicating that you are okay with the behavior. There is no prize for being the world’s most stoic and accommodating person. A friendship that cannot survive a the momentary discomfort of you standing up for your needs is not actually a friendship worth holding onto. Nobody loves being told that they are screwing up, obviously, but if you don’t have the ability to ever take any negative feedback along the lines of “Hey, could you not do that one thing anymore, thanks?” from a friend, YOU are the problem. When told that they are stepping on someone’s foot, good adult people will apologize and get off the foot and not perpetuate a FEELINGSDUMP about their need to really stand on feet sometimes. Communicating “Hey, that’s where my boundary is, thanks” IS KINDNESS. It is giving the other person the tools they need to be in a good relationship with you.”
— Jennifer Peepas

(via

marfmellow

)

Yes, yes, please, please tell me what your boundaries are. This is so helpful to me, if I’m crossing them, it’s not on purpose, and I would much rather not.

(via autisticfandomthings)

Source: marfmellow

geekhyena:

allytips:

woahjob:

gay students need sex education specific to their lifestyles just as much as straight people, saying that straight sex should be the main focus of sex ed “because they are the majority” is like saying you only care about kids’ safety if they act the way you think they should and it is discrediting the lives of 9 million people (and thats just america) because it “makes you feel uncomfortable”

I can’t tell you how many college aged queer guys I know who don’t realize anal sex is dangerous if you don’t use protection, how many queer women I know who don’t realize dental dams and finger cots are even a thing, how many trans* people don’t understand that hormones change the way sex works and change the need for protection, how many ace people think they’re broken because not wanting sex isn’t seen as an option.

So much this.

dorotheian:

canonicalmomentum:

susiron:

Yo if someone tags something with any variation of “please do not reblog” then please do not reblog it.

If a post is rather personal, it’s a good idea to check the tags before reblogging.

If your reason for reblogging personal posts is to show support— just drop a like on the post. 

Reblogs are great for art, signal boosts, and other things that benefit from being spread around, but very personal text posts are best kept on a person’s blog where they can completely delete it if necessary.

and if you think it would be a fantastic idea to create a blog specifically with the purpose of finding every ‘do not reblog’ post and reblogging them… please disconnect yourself from the internet forever, it’s not for you, you are a horrible person

Also, if you want to reply to a personal post, I think the best option is to write an ask in response so it can be publicized, but doesn’t have to be if the personal poster doesn’t want it to, and it can be separated from the original post or not at their leisure. Fanmail is good for replies if you have no intention of the reply being publicized.

genderoftheday:

Shout out to all the people getting misgendered on their selfies today on trans day of visibility. 

People of all genders come in all shapes, sizes, skin colors, and appearances and tagging someone as a “cute boy” or a “pretty girl” when you reblog their selfies can be super frustrating if that’s not what they are. I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve seen this happen to my nonbinary friends and how aggravating it is, especially when your selfies have text attached about your gender and pronouns.

If you think someone is cute and you want to reblog their picture, awesome! Just don’t apply your labels to them!

Even after today when you aren’t seeing trans selfies everywhere, stop gendering people you don’t know. Trans people are everywhere.

im-significant:

nowsheshutsup:

Misophonics are not insulting you if they flinch 

Misophonics are not insulting you if they need to plug their ears

Misophonics are not insulting you if they need to leave the room 

Misophonics are not insulting you if they get angry ‘for no reason’

Misophonics are not insulting you if they burst into tears in front of you

Misophonics are not insulting you when they are triggered

Misophonics CANNOT help it

for those not aware, misophonia is a disorder where certain seemingly random sounds (say, chewing, or a particular clock tick, or the sound of a certain fabric rustling, as some examples I’ve experienced) cause an intense emotional response such as anger, fear, or disgust.

people with this disorder do not have control over these triggers, they just happen. we aren’t trying to be rude, there are just some sounds we can’t deal with.

phoenixqt:

Shout out to TPOC who don’t get enough visibility in trans spaces

Shout out to trans women who get negative, dangerous visibility

Shout out to ‘masculine’ looking DMAB trans people and ‘feminine’ looking DFAB trans people who get overlooked

Shout out to non binary people, agender people, gender fluid people, etc, who are told and feel that they aren’t trans enough, aren’t really trans.

Shout out to DMAB enbies and enbies of colour who don’t get included in enough enby visibility

Shout out to fat trans people who dont get enough visibility

Shout out to physically disabled trans people who don’t get visibility

Shout out to NA/ND/mentally ill trans people who get negative visibility

Shout out to trans and non-trans-but-non-cis people with traditional, cultural genders other than ‘man’ or ‘woman’ who don’t get enough visibility

Shout out to every trans person reading this because we all need more visibility, better visibility, positive visibility.

im-significant:

airagorncharda:

Not wanting to be touched is not a flaw or a problem that you need to fix about yourself. You do not need to change, or get used to it, or endure it. Anyone who tells you that you do is saying so because they believe that their desire to touch you is more important than your comfort and body autonomy. 

If someone refuses to acknowledge or respect your wishes for them to not touch your body, they are proving that they do not respect you, and that they may not take no for an answer in other situations either. 

If a person doesn’t respect your desire to not be touched they are violating your boundaries and consent and that’s definitely enough reason to feel threatened by them. Your body will respond to that threat accordingly, with symptoms of anxiety and stress. A person doesn’t need to have physically harmed you in order to trample all over your consent, needs, and sense of safety.

Trauma isn’t always from one event. Sometimes it’s cumulative.

There is no reason someone should be touching you if you don’t want them to. It’s okay to not want to be touched. It’s completely within your right to request that someone not touch you. 

This goes for family members as well. Your parents do not have an inherent right to touch your body. You are not being unreasonable by asking or telling them to stop touching you.

It is fine to want to be touched sometimes and not others. It is fine to be okay with touch from some people and not others. It is fine to never want to be touched.

It is OKAY to not want to be touched.

“trauma can be cumulative” oh. OH. I just. oh.

Source: airagorncharda

shinykari:

madmaudlingoes:

bropakpro:

touch-my-cuboner:

zecretary:

zecretary:

the stereotype that women talk more than men is infinitely amusing to me because men are literally incapable of shutting the fuck up

i hope this post gets popular enough that i hurt a man’s feelings

It’s not a stereotype it’s a proven fact you femanazi piece of shit.

lmao there it is 

You wanna talk proven facts? This shit’s been done, son: researcher Dale Spencer in Australia used audio and video tape to independently evaluate who talked the most in mixed-gender university classroom discussions. Regardless of the gender ratio of the students, whether the instructor was deliberately trying to encourage female participation or not, men always talked more—whether the metric was minutes of talking or number of words spoken. 

Moreover, men literally have no clue how much they talk. When Spencer asked students to evaluate their perception of who talked more in a given discussion, women were pretty accurate; but men perceived the discussion as being “equal” when women talked only 15% of the time, and the discussion as being dominated by women if they talked only 30% of the time.

Spencer’s conclusion, if I may parahprase: you only think we talk too much because you’d rather we were silent.

Don’t fuck with me, asshole, I’m a scientist.

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