apparently this needs to be said but uh abusive behavior is not excusable, even if its caused by mental illness, like
i get that it can make you manipulative or want to lash out. i really do. but you need to apologize when you are called out for it, you cant excuse it by saying youre mentally ill, you cant accuse people of ableism when theyre really just saying “hey this isnt cool you should apologize for this”
there are ableist people who assume that mentally ill people are inherently abusive. but being expected to own up to your abusive actions is not ableist. being held responsible is not ableist. you are not completely free of any and all criticism
Specifically: Naming Idris Elba for every damn role in Western television and cinema.
The new James Bond? Have you considered Idris Elba? The next Doctor? I dunno, but I reckon it should be Idris Elba. A King Arthur film? Hey, what about casting Idris Elba? A Mary Seacole biopic? Guys, I know it’s left field, but have we thought about Idris Elba for the lead role?
I was reminded of this fancasting tic in the wake of Jon Stewart’s announcement that he was quitting The Daily Show after almost two decades. The nominations for his replacement came thick and fast, and alongside the usual suspects came the name of Jessica Williams, already a correspondent on the show, and a fan favourite.
Turns out Jessica Williams didn’t want the job, flattering though she found the vote of confidence from fans. She tweeted as much.
But that didn’t stop one writer (who has since apologised) from diagnosing Williams with a case of Impostor Syndrome, the cure for which would likely come wrapped in a pep talk from the likes of Luvvie Ajayi and Ta-Nehisi Coates, among others. William – and others – did not appreciate it. And I get it.
What was a well-meant “I choose you, member of a historically overlooked and discriminated against group, to be a figurehead of change” became something a little less sweet-tasting. It happened with Issa Rae when the clamour about SNL’s black woman black hole became an issue a couple years back. It happened with #Donald4Spiderman.
It’s happened with pre- and post-Oscar Lupita Nyong’o. It’s been happening with Idris Elba for years, even when he has articulated how “black James Bond” is really not up his street.
What is betrayed in these types of fancasting is a lack of imagination. An ignorance of anyone but whoever happens to be “so hot right now”. It’s understandable: We are wired to think of the highest profile; the person who features in the “Previously, on The X Show” reel at the front of our minds. And these are not necessarily bad things: It shows you’re maybe thinking about the underrepresentation of people of colour in the culture, and recognise that it needs to be addressed. And these actors are talented, charming, and capable performers. But it also suggests a shallowness of knowledge – the same actor(s), suggested for every role(s), over and over, regardless of suitability (on the grounds of age/physical appearance/comedy or drama chops/whatever, ad nauseam. It gets to be irritating.
It might not be the type of racism that kills, or shouts abuse in the streets, or discriminates against your name at the top of a CV or a rental application, but it shares the same seed. This is a more benign strain of the disease, relegated to a lower status because it involves pop culture, and its intentions are so fine. It’s subtle, but it’s subtly damaging. It’s also really goddamn lazy.
There are more black male actors than Idris Elba in this country; some younger, some older, some just as good, some better. They are worth considering for the real roles, as well as in fancasting exercises.
Bim Adewunmi, “The Benign Racism of Good People.” (via lyrafay)
sometimes self care is cancelling an appointment and watching tv and letting yourself nap. Sometimes those things are are ways of exaerbating your anxiety and stress.
sometimes self care is powering through to go to that appointment, to finish that project. and sometimes that can cause breakdowns and panic attacks
there isn’t one right way to do self care. what works for one person can be dangerous or irrelevant to another
and thats ok? you aren’t wrong or weird for not responding or needing to treat yourself differently then how you see other people do it.
our mental states are all unique, and it goes to follow that self care is exactly the same
okay so because i literally have to EXPLAIN why hitting your child is wrong, here we go:
it causes pain to the child
it teaches the child that those who love you will hurt you if it’s for ‘your own good’, normalizing abusive that could later end up in being in an abusive relationship, and even in some cases abusing others.
teaching your child to fear you is not teaching them right from wrong.
there are countless other ways to reprimand your child without harming them.
it is emotionally damaging as well as physically damaging.
the kid can grow to fear adults and authority figures in general.
the mindset that violence is okay
you are HURTING your child.
im so tired of people trying to defend their abuse by saying they are doing it with ‘best interest’ or that it’s ‘discipline’
I’m just here to remind you that everything that is happening in Ferguson right now is because of the residents and activists in Ferguson that have spent 215 days protesting. I’m also here to remind you that Black people have led this movement. And for this reason, we will never allow anyone to force a white savior narrative on us. We are perfectly capable of freeing ourselves and speaking to our own experiences, we don’t need anyone doing that for us. We are capable. We WILL get free. “Ain’t no power like the power of the people cause the power of the people don’t stop!”
not every mentally ill person can recover and they still deserve respect and support
ntm recovery in and of itself is an incredibly nuanced concept based on using neurotypical thought processes and behavior as the ideal, and often forcibly making neurodivergent people be this specific way so to ease the Burden on Society that we apparently are so having recovery be someone’s primary ableism/saneism rhetoric is an indication putting of neurotypicals ease and comfort over the different specific needs of mentally ill people (anxious people and psychotic people will “recover” differently for example), whether they know it or not forcing all mentally ill people into one homogenized form of “recovery” just reflects how much folks don’t care about our actual wellbeing and how much they just want us to Start Acting Normal Im sick of seeing the concept of the strive to recovery as the only representation of neurodivergent communities
reblogging again to add,
even for people who have something they would like to “recover” from, in the sense of the disorder being gone, this kind of recovery is often not possible.
I want to keep my autism. If there was some sort of thing to make me not Autistic anymore I wouldn’t take it. My “recovery” in this case is actually the process of unlearning toxic views about autism. My “recovery” is relearning how to stim in public, learning how to be as myself, my visibly disabled self, instead of the fake NT self I create in self-defense.
But my depression? I get nothing good out of it. I’d love to take a drug and wake up the next day with it gone. But that’s not possible. That’s not me being defeatist, thats reality. My genetics and my hormones are screwed up, I can take medications and go to therapy to help with the symptoms but I will always have this disorder. My “recovery” is a constant process of working through the issues that I can and finding ways to make the things I can’t change hurt less. That’s what I can do. That is recovery.
point is, “recovery” is so different for everyone. “wellbeing” is so different for everyone. and the only person who ought to be defining or making choices about them is oneself.
not every mentally ill person can recover and they still deserve respect and support
ntm recovery in and of itself is an incredibly nuanced concept based on using neurotypical thought processes and behavior as the ideal, and often forcibly making neurodivergent people be this specific way so to ease the Burden on Society that we apparently are so having recovery be someone’s primary ableism/saneism rhetoric is an indication putting of neurotypicals ease and comfort over the different specific needs of mentally ill people (anxious people and psychotic people will “recover” differently for example), whether they know it or not forcing all mentally ill people into one homogenized form of “recovery” just reflects how much folks don’t care about our actual wellbeing and how much they just want us to Start Acting Normal Im sick of seeing the concept of the strive to recovery as the only representation of neurodivergent communities
This Is a Backup Blog 