Like I’m an actual fucking artist and so are a million god damn other people on the planet and the person being recognize for their art by a game company is a fucking child? Nah. So much fuck that.
well if the criteria for recognition is being a fucking child i’d say you still have a chance
Reblogging for the cool character concept (a poison gas character with bleed damage would be cool) and for the savage af commentary
in my preschool class we’re holding “class president of the day” elections this week. we already elected our first female president on monday, even though one of the boy’s campaign promises was to “bring jewels” to the classroom.
tuesday: we talked about the real election happening today. one child says she hopes hillary clinton wins and all of her classmates chime in with sober agreements. one boy says voting for the drumpf “would not be a very good idea.”
they elected the other female candidate today in our mock election, so she won over the jewels boy and the other boy, who said he would make bracelets for the entire class. my students are surprisingly practical, seeing as they voted for the candidate who would clean the school and help them with their work.
once president, she did do those things, but also punched one of her constituents into the sandbox, so, i mean … she’s sort of a typical politician i guess
wednesday: the children announced tensely to me that trump won the real election. one boy said, “i still don’t like him, but we can’t say we hate him, because then we would be saying we hate the president.”
i said that was true, and that saying we hate him sounds a lot like something trump would say. they nodded and continued to help the toddler class students get their snack plates to the table without dropping their apple slices.
they elected one of the girls again, so she served her second term by helping her friends button their art smocks before we made our galaxy paintings. (because if you think i’m gonna create an art lesson plan to focus any more attention on this shitshow of an election, you are wrong.)
neither of the boy candidates have stood much of a chance in this race so far. one of them came to me and said he was rethinking his campaign promises, and could he make a new poster
he got a paper and wrote a huge list of ways that he would help keep all the children safe, including reminding them to use walking feet and not to touch broken glass. then he volunteered to work in the toddler room and cleaned up all of their messes, and moved all the shelves in my room so he could clean behind them.
i’m feeling so hopeless right now, but these children remind me that there is a future and they. are. it.
thursday: today i was very pleased. our president today is the little boy who made changes to his campaign promises. he also wore tyrannosaurus rex foot slippers. when the voters were shaking his hand to congratulate him on his victory, one said, “good job, and thank you for having monster feet”
he watched everyone like a hawk to make sure they were being safe, and then spent the morning writing in his journal about how much he loves all of us and his bicycle.
friday: okay, we’ve gotta go back to thursday afternoon first. after lunch the candidates (the four of them) were discussing the class elections so far and who had won, and they realized that one of them (the jewels boy) hadn’t won yet. friday was the last day that we were going to have class elections, and if he didn’t win, he wouldn’t get a chance to be president for the day.
i told them that sometimes candidates will drop out if they think someone else should win. i didn’t even have to point out that they themselves could do this, they just volunteered to drop out so that they could give him a turn.
so today, i explained to the class that the others had dropped out, and that now they had two choices: they could vote for him, or they could abstain from voting. unsurprisingly they all voted for him (it was a choice between standing up and not standing up, so yeah, they were gonna stand up lol), and since his revised campaign promises included making sure everyone was safe, there were no bullies, everyone has friends, and that everyone gets a jewel, i got my stash of plastic gems out of the numbers-and-counters bin and he handed those out. (i wanted to make sure he could uphold his campaign promise. the children only sort of remembered that he had promised it, but it’s the kind of thing they would all realize after nap with intense outrage if he skipped it.)
we clapped for all the candidates and after show and tell, our president proudly monitored the hall to make sure no one ran. throughout the day he helped the other children put their nap blankets and cots away, and was especially patient with some of our more boisterous friends.
i’m a little sad that we can’t just keep electing presidents-of-the-day for the rest of the year (with small people this age, the novelty will wear off and it will stop being an effective activity). but since they’ve all agreed that being the president means being kind, helping others, and listening to everyone’s needs, the classroom has become a little more peaceful and cooperative. i’m just so proud of them all.
okay, one last thing: these are their campaign posters. i blurred out their names and the name of our school. on some, i helped, on others, they just did what they were gonna do.
the first president: “i promise to help with snack, and to make sure there is no bullying. vote for –”
monster feet’s revised poster: “do not run in the classroom, otherwise i will tell you not to run. i promise to be sure you aren’t touching broken glass. i promise to make sure everyone is safe.” (he wrote his name in the center of all the letters)
the second girl’s poster: (with the part she dictated to me): “i promise to be kind to everybody, and to help other friends with their work because i want to be a teacher when i grow up. vote for –. i promise to clean the school.”
front side of the jewels boy’s first poster: “i promise to make sure that there are no bullies and bring jewels to the school.”
and the back: “vote for –! never touch broken glass! and then if the glass is broken a bully might push them in the glass.” (he included a small diagram of it.)
his revised poster, front: “i promise to give out jewels to all the friends at —-. no running, you will get a booboo. i will be sure that everyone has a friend.” (the bubble in the middle says “safety tips”)
and the back: “vote for – please. *zip* bye!” (that’s a little person running off the edge of the paper.)
ok so.
there’s an office administrator at my work and she has this cute little 2 year old named William. he calls me “Nick so tall”. like that’s my name to him, but he says it like it’s one word. “Nicksotall”. and i love it
so I’ve taken to calling him Will So Lil’ and we get along like a housefire.
i haven’t seen him in like two weeks, but his mom comes in to work today and tells me that recently he’s been telling his own bedtime stories, and he starts them all with once upon a time and everything. cute right? well to me it gets cuter, because he has been telling stories about Batman, Spider-man, and Nicksotall.
and we have these adventures and climb buildings and fight crime together and i have to be honest, it warmed my heart so fucking much it’s ridiculous
tl;dr I’m a superhero to an adorable 2 year old
yessssssss
This is so pure
i had a visitor at work today. willsoli’l was a ‘struction worker
in my preschool class we’re holding “class president of the day” elections this week. we already elected our first female president on monday, even though one of the boy’s campaign promises was to “bring jewels” to the classroom.
tuesday: we talked about the real election happening today. one child says she hopes hillary clinton wins and all of her classmates chime in with sober agreements. one boy says voting for the drumpf “would not be a very good idea.”
they elected the other female candidate today in our mock election, so she won over the jewels boy and the other boy, who said he would make bracelets for the entire class. my students are surprisingly practical, seeing as they voted for the candidate who would clean the school and help them with their work.
once president, she did do those things, but also punched one of her constituents into the sandbox, so, i mean … she’s sort of a typical politician i guess
wednesday: the children announced tensely to me that trump won the real election. one boy said, “i still don’t like him, but we can’t say we hate him, because then we would be saying we hate the president.”
i said that was true, and that saying we hate him sounds a lot like something trump would say. they nodded and continued to help the toddler class students get their snack plates to the table without dropping their apple slices.
they elected one of the girls again, so she served her second term by helping her friends button their art smocks before we made our galaxy paintings. (because if you think i’m gonna create an art lesson plan to focus any more attention on this shitshow of an election, you are wrong.)
neither of the boy candidates have stood much of a chance in this race so far. one of them came to me and said he was rethinking his campaign promises, and could he make a new poster
he got a paper and wrote a huge list of ways that he would help keep all the children safe, including reminding them to use walking feet and not to touch broken glass. then he volunteered to work in the toddler room and cleaned up all of their messes, and moved all the shelves in my room so he could clean behind them.
i’m feeling so hopeless right now, but these children remind me that there is a future and they. are. it.
You can hate the person without hating the position.
while i–an adult–feel this way, these children are four and five years old. they think “hate,” “butt,” and “poopyhead” are swearwords, and that calling someone an eyeballhead or uninviting them from their birthday party is the ultimate insult.
so what i’m saying is i’m not going to go into the nuances of politics with them, especially when the person/position (which is the same thing in their minds) we’re talking about is
an authority figure
a SUPREME authority figure, like, on the level of batman and their mom, and
going to be “in charge” of them for as far as they can see into the future
i mean, that’s scary as shit. they need to believe right now that the adults in their lives will protect them at all costs, that they are safe, and that the world will not suddenly get thrown into chaos because the president is a cartoon supervillain. fucking … daylight savings is hard enough on their little systems, jfc
From the stories you share, you are doing a brilliant job. I understand that it’s murder on your nerves sometimes, but you are the hero these children need. Thank you.
(I am 40 and I still use, “You will be uninvited from my birthday party!” as a threat.)
Today one of my students threw a stuffed animal across the room and it landed directly in a plate filled with paint
And I had it narrowed down to a few kids but no one would confess so I made them all put their toys away and have five minutes of quiet time to Reflect on Their Behavior
During that five minutes of relative silence, this group of three year olds INVENTED A NEW CLASSMATE, named him, and unanimously blamed him for throwing the toy across the room
There was not a single weak link, they were all ride or die
It kind of really confuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It’s about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barbie you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4.
Yes, but how do you make it into a marketable commercial that won’t freak parents and caregivers out?
I’ve always had the impression that advertisers don’t really understand how girls play with their toys.
When I played with Barbies I had this thing called “The Dead Pit” which was a purple bratz laundry hamper. So whenever a Barbie got killed off she would go in there. And what I would do was I would carry her to the dead pit while singing the dead pit song. The dead pit song was just saying “The dead pit” over and over again in different tones. Anyway, once I finally reached the pit I would announce “(name) has died.” And drop her in. I would wait a few moments. Then, I would violently shake the hamper while shrieking, pretending to be the tortured souls of dead barbies of the underworld. I thought it was hilarious.
when i was 9 i wrote a love letter to cole sprouse and closed my eyes and threw it out the car window thinking it’d magically find him and wow i did not understand the united states postal system
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