the executive dysfunction feel when you’ve been yelling @ urself for like 20 minutes to take a shower but to other ppl it just looks like u have been sitting at the computer for 20 minutes
“I should go do the thing.” I say to myself every five minutes for three hours.
Friends, family members and loved ones of learning disabled and mentally ill people need to have a working knowledge of what Executive Dysfunction is, and respect the fact that it is a prominent feature of that person’s psychology and life.
Executive Dysfunction is best known as a symptom of autism and ADHD, but it also features in depression, anxiety disorders schizophrenia, OCD (which by the way is also an anxiety disorder), personality disorders; etc, a whole myriad of mental illnesses and disabilities can result in executive dysfunction.
(fact: I have personally known people diagnosed with each ofthe above mentioned disabilities. let me tell yea having mental disabilities in aneurotypical world turns your life upside down and we often feel suffocatedand trapped by it with no way out)
Years ago when I was like 14 and had recently learned of my autism diagnosis, I watched a youtube interview between autistic people, and an autistic woman said something along these lines, “Sometimes, a lightbulb will burn out, but I cannot change it. I have the physical capability to change the lightbulb, and I want to change the lightbulb, and I know I need to do it, but because of my autism I just don’t do it. So the lightbulb remains unchanged for weeks. Sometimes people have to change the lightbulb for me.”
When she said that I related so much, because constantly throughout my whole life I have wanted and needed to do things with my wanting and needing being akin to my spurring an extremely stubborn horse who refuses to move. For the first time I learned that I wasn’t just “lazy”, I had a condition that prevented me from doing things as easily as other people can, but unfortunately it took me years since then to understand that.
Actually, I like the horse analogy. Imagine that you are a horserider, but your horse is entirely unwilling to move even if you want to move. You dig in your heels, you raise the reins, but the horse refuses to respond. Your wants and needs are the rider, and your executive functions (the parts of your mind responsible for getting things done) are the horse.
I think it’s incredibly dangerous for neurotypical loved ones to not understand, or be aware of, or respect executive dysfunction. Neurotypical can assume that we are just being lazy, careless, selfish or difficult, when in reality we want to do the thing but our brains prevent us from consistently and reliably doing the thing.
That misinterpretation can lead to toxic behavior and resentment on the part of the loved one, which will harm us emotionally and do us a lot of damage gradually over time.
That damage can take the form of internal self-criticism, complicating executive dysfunction even further and making it worse.
a note on ocd in particular tho is that like, a lot of things surround obsessions and compulsions and the rituals associated with it, so for the lightbulb example it might be ‘bugs may have touched the lightbulb. the lightbulb is therefore dirty. i need gloves. but im out of gloves. i need to go to the store. i need to find paper to open and close my house door so i dont come into contact with the dirty door handles. i need to remember my hand sanitizer. i need to buy the gloves. i need to sanitize my hands after paying the cashier. i need to open my house door with paper again. i need to wash off my keys. i need to grab a chair, but only move it with my feet, because someone i dont like sat or touched that chair, making it dirty.’ like. its a fuckload of steps to just change ONE fucking lightbulb and its why a lot of people with ocd, including myself, just..avoid cleaning shit up or doing things that need to be done. bc if we dont do it, it doesnt trigger the ritual process and its a fuckload less stress. its easier to sit in the dark than fuck with ocd rituals.
very Good addition
also I said this on the facebook post would you agree with it?
“but executive dysfunction I think can manifest differently depending on the disorder of the individual, for example, an OCD person might want to keep their room clean, but have the compulsion, “In order to clean my room I have to do XYZ, ABC, and FGH exactly right, and if I don’t do all of that correctly everything will be horrible forever” and because of the involved and anxiety-inducing nature of that process the room-cleaning seldom gets done.
Keeping in mind that I DON’T have OCD, I’m describing based on what friends with OCD has said. (If it isn’t clear, OCD isn’t always ‘I keep everything spotlessly clean and organized 24/7’; in fact the living space of an OCD person can be a total mess)”
And then you get into a spiral of ‘I want to do this but I don’t have XYZ/the spoons’ and then it builds up ans as it builds up you get more and more anxious and you put off doing it more……
Aries: Kilauea, Hawaii is an ideal traveling spot for any Aries. For the more adventurous Aries, visiting the active volcanoes of the island would be an excellent idea. For the thrill-seekers and show-offs, the beach is a great place to master those surf skills.
Taurus: Florence, Italy is nothing short of home for a Taurus. The medieval city is filled with priceless artworks and stunning architecture, and is home to David and ancient cathedrals; and Taureans are famous for being fans of art! As a final selling point, anywhere in Italy can appeal to their taste buds; pizza, pasta, red wine…
Gemini: Athens, Greece is heaven on earth for Gemini, the scholars of the zodiac. What better place to travel to than the birthplace of modern society, art, politics, and science? However, Athens is not all serious for Geminis, who are notorious for finding fun everywhere! Exploring the ruins and acropolis of Athens is an adventure in itself, even if they do get a wee bit lost.
Cancer: To their homeland. Cancers feel a deep and internal need to discover their roots, to find out who they are, and where they came from. Connecting to their motherland will satisfy a deep need in Cancer’s life.
Leo: Los Angeles, California would make a Leo want to stay, forever! L.A. has everything a Leo could ever want – the glitz and glamor, the beach, warm climate, and action is never far away! Leo’s need sunshine and attention to thrive, and L.A. has nothing short of those things.
Virgo: Isle Royale, Michigan would be a unique vacation spot for Virgos. With their eye for detail and beauty, they’d appreciate the wildlife and solitude of the park. It’s the only island national park in the U.S., so analytical Virgo would have fun finding species that don’t live on the mainland!
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Scorpio: Yukon, Alaska seems like an odd and random place to travel to. However, what Scorpios won’t tell you is that they’ve been dying to see the northern lights since they were in elementary school. Alaska is one of the few places where you can see the Aurora Borealis during winter, and they’ll be utterly enthralled by the light display in the dead of night with the wind blowing around them.
Sagittarius: Amazon Rainforest, Brazil couldn’t be a more perfect environment Sagittarius. The most adventurous and diverse place on Earth, Sagittarius would fall in love. With miles of uncharted territory and the freedom to wander, the explorer of the zodiac sign would be very happy here.
Capricorn: New York City, New York is the place where anything can happen. For the work-stressed Capricorn, NYC is a place of wonder and magic where they can feel reborn and revitalized. Inspiration is just around the corner.
Aquarius: Nepal would be the place to go. Nepal recently suffered from a massive earthquake, and volunteers from all over the world are flying in to aid survivors. As humanitarians of the zodiac, most Aquarians would feel a deep longing to assist those currently in need.
Pisces: Lhasa, Tibet is a must-see site for those seeking religion and their place in the world. Pisces are deeply spiritual people, but can often benefit from learning about new religions and experiencing them first-hand.
but like, emotionally, i’m just.. not.. registering it??? i’m not so much calm but like.. standing in a sound proof fishbowl watching all of my obligations press their faces to the glass, yelling and knocking, and like, my homework and emails are teaming up to make a battering ram and my job is trying to tunnel under and i’m just standing here watching it all in muffled, deaf silence like “ok”
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