tired: Having children so someone can give you a glass of water on your deathbed wired: Starting to work out right now and working out your entire life so you can get your deathbed water glass your damn fucking self with your 90 year old ripped arms
Im going to be the strongest old person at the nursery home and im going to bully and beat up all my neighbors. and the staff
Roll to intimidate your wounds into healing.
me, playing with some newbies, and deciding “well, this might as well happen.” (via yourplayersaidwhat)
I know there are peaceful solutions but we will definitely find the guys trying to capture us if I get arrested
Me trying to find the corrupt cops so I could burn them I mean interrogate them (via yourplayersaidwhat)
the lock jammed on the front door of my shitty prewar apartment building so i just spent twenty minutes forcing it open while my very drunk neighbor sat on the steps nodding at my efforts and going “this is fun. being locked out together. we should hang out more”
he’s like 6’2” and jacked at one point he was like “try a kick. try… kicking it” so i donkey kicked it as hard as i could and it did absolutely nothing but he was still like “wow. more torque…. than i expected. you’ve got a surprising, uh. torque to size ratio” and i think i’m putting it on my resume
This Is a Backup Blog 