(After defeating a monster living In the sewers at the request of the town’s guard)
Barbarian: We should make it look like that it wasn’t too easy…
Ranger: Ok. Punch me in the face!
it’s two in the morning and i slid my hand across the mattress to find my husband’s in the dark, but when we held hands in silence it was with our elbows bent and our thumbs curled around each other, all crooked and sideways
so it was only about a minute before i suddenly gripped his hand hard and flexed, which was the same amount of time it had taken him to stop resisting the temptation to say, “dillon, you son of a bitch”
McCree: I’m a big country fan
Genji, trying to impress him: China is very large
My kinds of ships are the ships where the men know their women are powerful forces of nature and that they could fuck up entire armies in a matter of seconds and THEY EMBRACE IT AND TAKE PRIDE IN IT???! “Oh… It’s not me you should be worried about… It’s my WIFE.“ *smirks* YAAASSSSSSSSSS GIVE ME MORE.
Person A: Babe I love you but you need to be nicer to people.
Person B: Are you implying I’m mean?
Person A: Yesterday you glared so hard at the coffee boy he started crying.
Person B: ……. I was staring off into space.
Person A: Oh my God! Forgot resting bitch face, you have resting murder face.
This Is a Backup Blog 