By the “not all men” logic, Russian Roulette is a perfectly safe game to play. Sure, one of the chambers has a bullet in it…
but not all chambers
Actually, women experience sexual violence and rape – not even counting violent assaults and other forms of gendered abuse and violence – more frequently than one in six.
Sooo… by this logic, Russian Roulette is kind of, you know…
…s a f e r.
Tag: rape mention
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT HAPPENS TO ME SO OFTEN.
READ THIS. PLEASE.
Guys this is EXTREMELY important and quite accurate please read/reblog
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
(via lil-ith)
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
(via geekdomme)
I will always reblog this. Always.
(via myherocomplex)
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone.
(via alamaris)
yes
(via thefitally)
The sheer amount of energy, abilities, and organisation that you have to have to actually put into practice all these “rape prevention” things is impossible for a lot of people. Especially disabled people.
People with physical disabilities may not be able to learn all this self-defense stuff. Actually that’s generally pretty expensive, and disabled people tend to be poor.
Lots of us don’t have the motor control or energy to use things like this new anti-date rape nail polish.
Autistic people sometimes can’t just tell when someone’s unsafe.
Lots of us don’t have the funds or organisation to do things like getting taxis all the time.
So, what? Are we supposed to be the collateral damage for when all the “good” women are sensible and do all the rape prevention things we can’t? Are we just supposed to accept that we get raped at rates that are at least twice that of non disabled people? That about 80% of developmentally disabled women get sexually abused?
Is it our fault if we can’t do these things because we’re disabled?
Rape prevention does worse than nothing for disabled people.
Why is this never brought up when feminists criticise “rape prevention” things?
Courtenay McKay created a series of posters for the Gender Based Violence Prevention Project (GBVPP) at the University of Alberta to spread awareness about rape culture.
“The Gender Based Violence Prevention Project is a new project of the Students’ Union that promotes a campus free of gender based violence. Gender Based Violence exists in both visible and invisible ways on our campus and affects the lives of many University students, staff, faculty, and community members. Through education, awareness, and institutional change, we are striving to create a campus free of gender based violence where everyone can feel safe and supported.”
Chuck Wendig is magnificent
I just feel the need to share that sentiment at the moment.
“If you don’t want nude pics leaked, don’t take nude pics with your phone —” *Tasers you* *steals your shoes* SHOULDN’T WEAR SHOES BRO
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig)//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I wrote that tweet yesterday in regards to the celebrity nude photo thefts.
(It’s not a leak. Nor a scandal. It was theft, kay? Kay.)
It’s had over 4500 retweets since then.
A tweet that goes that far and wide tends to get a response that is equally far and wide, and so of course I’m getting a lot of tweets from people (let’s be honest: dudes) who are like BUH BUH BUT UHH THAT’S WRONG BECAUSE SOMETHING SOMETHING FALSE ANALOGY SOMETHING SOMETHING SECURITY AND HEY REMEMBER YOU SHOULDN’T PUT NUDE PHOTOS ON YOUR PHONE IF YOU WANT THEM STOLEN.
Basically reiterating the same thing I was attempting to refute in the first fucking place.
If that is your response, may I take this moment to elucidate an academic retort:
Fuck you.
Fuuuuuuuck you.
Fuuuu-huuuu-huuuuuuuuck you.
Please: now allow me to grow multiple arms like Shiva the Destroyer, and further, do note that at the ends of each serpentine arm you will find a middle finger, thrust up so that each finger is straining in an angry, arthritic fashion to convey the telepathic disdain I have for your bullshit, hypocritical, falsely equivalent opinion.
I think people should be allowed to take nude photos of themselves.
I think nude photos are rad. I think not taking nude photos is rad. I think whatever you want to do sexually or artistically is a-okay as long as its enthusiastically consensual — stick a carrot up your ass, if you want, while banging your genitals with a tambourine. Whoever you are, however you identify yourselves, I live in a world where I want you to have both the freedom to do what you want in this manner while simultaneously possessing the privacy to do it as you see fit.
Any violation of that is just that: a violation.
It is a crime. An actual, honest-to-that-blind-lady-with-the-scales crime.
It is not rape, but it is deeply demonstrative of rape culture because it is an act that exploits a woman and her body without her consent. And then, as if to vigorously rub salt into the wound with the heel of one’s callused hand, the judgey-faced shitty-assed judgments of countless men follow in the wake of the violation: victim-blaming, slut-shaming, Puritanical finger-waggling.
“If you don’t want nude pics to get into the world…”
“Something-something security…”
“Sure, sure, it’s a crime, but still, you have to know realize that…”
Shut up.
Shut up shut up shut up shut up.
If you do that, you are on the side of evil, not the side of good.
Oh, I know. You’re pretending that you have people’s best interests at heart.
You want to remind them that the phone they carry is a vulnerable device.
It’s basically a boat with a sprung hull. Anything might leak into or out of it.
So, you think that anything you have put on your phone is suspect? Or your computer or tablet? If I steal your banking information, or your credit cards, or your e-mails, or pictures of your wife, your kids — well, hey, that’s your fault. You plugged in, bro. You shouldn’t have driven on the Information Superhighway if you don’t want to get run over by a couple joy-riding hackers, right?
And hey, driving on the actual highway is pretty dangerous, too. You shouldn’t drive because you could get hit. Sure, I mean, a drunk driver shouldn’t drive drunk – but it’s kinda your fault too because you had the audacity to leave your home. Leaving your home is dangerous. Your whole body is basically a gelatinous jellyfish, just an animated sack of bones and meat quivering its way through life. If you don’t protect yourself — guns, armor, various Mad Max-ian spikes and chains — then you can expect all kinds of violence. You’re not at all secure out there. Your flesh isn’t protected by a password. It’s your fault if you get beaten up. Oh, they stole your wallet, too? That’s what you get for putting all that vulnerable money inside a leather flappy thing ensconced within the soft downy pockets of your dumb acid wash jeans.
What’s that? I just punched you in the face?
Okay, yes, that’s a crime. Admittedly! Admittedly.
But you probably also should be wearing a helmet.
…There’s more. Every word a delight. Go read it.
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