When your players finally get past one part of the session that you never even considered to be slightly difficult while planning it
When your players come up with an innovative means to completely disarm one of the main obstacles that you had planned in a way that you never even considered, and then proceed to spend the rest of the session sabataging each other without any external prompting
Dm: so you can take the princess back to the castle to marry a man and collect your reward or you can release her and let her run away with her girlfriend, but you won’t get any money
Player #1: I really like money but I also really like lesbians
Player #2: what do you value more, money or the gays
(They ended up escorting the princess and her gf to the country border bc our dragonborn barbarian scooped them up like babies and wouldn’t put them down until her ‘gay children’ were safe from ‘the evil heterosexuals’)
For context, my character is a level 15 alchemist named Alphonse Kendrick. Naturally, he’s somewhat off his rocker and often does things that are flat out crazy and insane, but somehow work out in the end. During a siege event with a larger army, the party had managed to capture a treasure chest that had been enchanted with “animate object” and “magic mouth,” essentially turning it into a chest that screams for help when it’s being stolen. After they get it back to base, they start working on how to open it. That’s when this happens:
Me: “I begin stroking it gently on the lid and asking it ‘Who’s a good chest? Who’s a good chest?’”
DM: “…It goes silent and begins to nervously whimper.”
Me: “I continue to stroke it and speak lovingly to it as I produce a gold coin and hold it in my hand like a dog treat.”
DM: “Oh, dear god. It slowly ‘sniffs’ the coin in your hand. You hear the locking mechanism begin to work.”
Me: “’That’s it, you’re a good chest! You’re a good chest!’”
DM, with his head down, trying not to lose it from laughing: “It opens its lid and takes the gold piece, also allowing you access inside.”
In the end, we recovered the treasure, and my mad alchemist now has a pet chest with its own alarm system. It’s name is Chester!
Somewhere, deep inside, the door blushes and feels very charmed. However, this is a door and its dead. It’s just a door.
Our DM after my attempt to seduce a regular door to open (via yourplayersaidwhat)
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