Okay, so we all know that Poe went around the Resistance base telling everyone about the Handsome Stormtrooper that saved his life – but what about BB-8? Imagine BB-8 coming back to base and promptly telling everyone about the good brave human who saved his Poe. This is Finn he is so lovely, he is the best of all humans, look at him, be nice to him – he’s a little bit slow – doesn’t understand droid at all but he’s a quick learner.
And imagine ALL THE DROIDS falling into line, looking after Finn, and Finn is just so nice to them because he remembers what it’s like to be treated like you’re nothing, like you don’t have a personality. And they just adopt him: Finn the best human, they designate him, and R2-D2 – battle-hardened war vet that he is – teaches him binary but teaches him the bastardised sweary binary that all the older droids speak and BB-8 is innocent and oblivious and C3-PO is scandalised because Finn is going round saying things like fuck me this is hot in this little whistle-beep.
And whenever Finn sits down he’s surrounded by happy young droids who absolutely adore him, and he is just so nice and all the droids go out of their way to do things for him.
And yes. Give me sweet lovely Finn with his droid ducklings.
OMG I NEED THIS ARTED. Just. Finn. Droids. WHAT ARE YOU DOING FINN CAN WE HELP WE’LL JUST WATCH IF YOU DON’T NEED US. FINN IS SLIGHTLY THIRSTY. FIND WATER.
No word of a lie, Finn slays everyone at the Resistance base within two days. I’m not buying into the idea of Poe Dameron as international space fashion star – we all know he owns two sets of clothes, one of them his flight suit and one of them his officer khakis. (having said this he devotes an inhuman amount of time and effort to his hair. so. much. time. in. front. of. mirror. move dameron, Pava will say, we all have faces to fix come on move your butt)
Anyway. Anyway. Finn stunts on everyone. He’s lived his life in black and white armor – upon discovering colour, he embraces it with a zeal comparable to Rey’s newfound love of any and all food. Purple’s his favourite; but he likes gold as well; blue as the sky; green as a meadow. And textures! He gets together all random bits of fabric on the Resistance base – and let’s face it, the Resistance base is essentially a junkyard of random things from every corner of the galaxy, underfunded and scraping by – and with Rey’s help he knocks together the sort of wardrobe that any young fashionista would die for. He’s edgy. He’s cool. His clothing is loud and obnoxious and screams I chose this, I chose whatever I am! He kills all your faves and god damn, you are his witness.
Kylo Ren: Forgive me. I feel it again… The call from the light.
Anakin: *calls kylo ren for the 3rd time* FUCKING PICK UP
Okay, so we all know that Poe went around the Resistance base telling everyone about the Handsome Stormtrooper that saved his life – but what about BB-8? Imagine BB-8 coming back to base and promptly telling everyone about the good brave human who saved his Poe. This is Finn he is so lovely, he is the best of all humans, look at him, be nice to him – he’s a little bit slow – doesn’t understand droid at all but he’s a quick learner.
And imagine ALL THE DROIDS falling into line, looking after Finn, and Finn is just so nice to them because he remembers what it’s like to be treated like you’re nothing, like you don’t have a personality. And they just adopt him: Finn the best human, they designate him, and R2-D2 – battle-hardened war vet that he is – teaches him binary but teaches him the bastardised sweary binary that all the older droids speak and BB-8 is innocent and oblivious and C3-PO is scandalised because Finn is going round saying things like fuck me this is hot in this little whistle-beep.
And whenever Finn sits down he’s surrounded by happy young droids who absolutely adore him, and he is just so nice and all the droids go out of their way to do things for him.
And yes. Give me sweet lovely Finn with his droid ducklings.
I think the most plausible The Force Awakens headcanon I’ve ever run into is that the galactic media started holding Ben up as the face of the nascent New Jedi Order from a very young age, and everything that’s happened since then is basically the equivalent of a former child star meltdown.
Just, you know, instead of getting drunk and trashing his hotel room, he shivs his dad and blows up the sun, because Skywalkers never do anything small.
ok but has anyone considered… stormtrooper memes. stormtroopers with injokes. stormtroopers quietly passing along little nudges and references while they’re standing guard or patrolling endless hallways. hux pausing halfway through a speech, suspiciously— he just heard a very tiny, staticy giggle. like,
(standing in front of blank wall or empty box) nothing to see here, move along
let’s just put that in the back pocket for now mmkay
*eats ration bar* mm mmm tastes like [dead comrade]
you can’t be mean to me on my birthday
*force chokes a problem*
(between heavy darth vader wheezes) i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed.
(when something falls over) rebel scum!
*points at large machine* mom
it’s party time (everyone stands perfectly still for at least a minute)
(when friend come into the room) you’re surplus to requirements
they put a worm in him
*picks up thing that is not a phaser* pew pew
i’m matt the radar technician
millennium falcon as a code for “mother fucker”
Sending troopers new to the unit on an ruffleluff hunt
spreading the rumor that Hoth is secretly the main base because that’s the only place their uniforms make sense as camo
tagging other trooper’s helmets with mysterious substances when they’re not looking
radioing sanitation to ‘come take out this trash’ when dragging another trooper
there’s coffee and doughnuts in the breakroom
*does something dangerous* eat me ass first
healthy habits start at home
well, as we all know, [lie]
*gives someone a pinecone* (very difficult to pull off)
i can’t go out dressed like THIS!
my morale is so [genital adjective] right now.
does anyone need to stormpooper before we go
fun is illegal
*puts foot in small box* i live here now
doubletime sleeping
*points at captain phasma* mom
*humming Vader’s theme tune when someone’s in trouble*
Jedi are a myth
Kylo Ren is a myth
*explaining damage* It got KRed. (Kylo Renned)
KRUBAR Kylo Renned Beyond All Recall/Recognition/Repair
Calling helmets faces (a relic from the clone days)
Backtalking superior officers “begging to be spaced”
Kylo Ren is having a moment as an acceptable excuse for deviating a patrol route
General Hux is in a good mood as an acceptable excuse for deviating a patrol route
And Captain Phasma is smiling at us under that helmet (synonymous with “bullshit”)
Finn accidentally slipping into stormtrooper memes while with the Resistance and getting some odd looks.
Finn trying to explain to them why their Force-using manchild deadly enemy destroying property in a rage is funny and getting some more odd looks.
Finn feeling a little knot in his gut when he realizes he’s never going to be able to tell these jokes again. How’s he even going to connect to these people enough to make them laugh when they’re all scared shitless? How’s he going to carry his entire squad around in his head when he can’t even speak their language anymore?
Meanwhile Rey’s standing there squinting suspiciously at a pinecone.
Okay but Rebels who see Finn being upset and making a concerted effort to figure out meme culture. Rey and Jessika talking it out while Jessika is teaching Rey the cultural miscellany of Resistance and pilot culture.
Rey being the first one to get it, because she synergizes what Jessika’s telling her and what Finn’s explaining and realizes, this is all communication around communication, the key point is shared understanding, and then she starts making her own, with Jessika, and Finn picks it up, and soon the whole base is in on this bastardized mix of stormtrooper meme and purely Resistance meme and a ridiculous combination of the two.
And then they interact with stormtroopers and something goes on in the background on the First Order side and a Resistance soldier asks, “Is Kylo Ren having a moment?” and there’s muffled laughter and an absence of blasterfire from the stormtroopers.
Pretty soon there’s a whole code that stormtroopers and resistance soldiers can use to communicate. “Nothing to see here, move along” means “I’m ignoring you on purpose, don’t shoot me,” and “I’m KR’d” means “I want out, please capture me.”
From the Rebel side, “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi” becomes “throw me a bone here” in either direction to ask for a favor; “That’s no moon” means “you’re walking into a trap here/we’ve got a secret weapon you won’t like.”
Okay, I was expecting someone to pick this up, but damn, this is even better than I hoped.
I just remembered that everyone in Pacific Rim would’ve seen The Force Awakens and I just
> Newt lets Hermann borrow his jacket one time because it’s cold and Hermann forgot his. Hermann goes to give it back later. Newt looks him dead in the eyes. “Keep it. It suits you.” Silence follows. Newt can’t keep a straight face. Hermann walks away with the look of a man who has suffered through fifty Star Wars references this week already, and will likely suffer through fifty more before it’s over.
> Tendo opening awkward conversations with “So, who talks first? Do you talk first? I talk first?”
> Back when he was working the Wall, Raleigh sometimes muttered “one quarter portion” when he got his ration card at the end of the day.
> “The garbage will do” becomes a running gag among the Jaeger program has they have to resort to jury-rigging shit and settling for things that better fit their increasingly diminishing budget.
> Mako has all the blueprints to make a fully functioning BB-8 replica. She just never got around to building it. She was totally going to enlist Hermann to help with the programming, too.
> Newt referring to the increasing size and power of the Kaiju as “some Starkiller Base overkill bullshit.”
> “THAT’S NOT HOW THE DRIFT WORKS.”
I still haven’t seen it and I need to jump on the pacrim/force awakens bandwagon fast.
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